Respect to Eleanor Bailey

Here is a speech by Eleanor Bailey. She is an advocate for people who have Down syndrome. When I first started writing this blog I posted an article that I found on the internet - she had written it when she was just 11. Now she is 19 and it's great to see that she is still going strong and standing up for other people who have Down syndrome.

Eleanor Bailey: Buddy Walk Speech
September - 2007

"Good Morning. Welcome to the Buddy Walk.
Thank you for asking me to speak. It is a great pleasure for me to see you all here. It is always
a great pleasure to see so many people with Down syndrome together in one place.
People with Down syndrome all want freedom, just like everybody else!

All people with Down syndrome have the right to be included in every part of the world.
Children with Down syndrome have the right to go with school in a regular classroom with other children.
Adults with Down syndrome have the right to a good job that makes them proud and independent.

People with Down syndrome have the right to marry and have families just like everyone else.
People with Down syndrome have the right to a nice place to live.
People with Down syndrome have the right to good medical care.
People with Down syndrome have the right to transportation to wherever they want to go.
People with Down syndrome want to be happy.
No one belongs in an institution or nursing home.

Here is my message- always be proud. Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing
the game!!
Be proud!
Make your own choices!
Make good choices!
Remember disability pride. Be proud of who you are.
Be proud to be a person with Down syndrome.
Thank you for coming today. Have a wonderful celebration.

Free Our People!!
Thank you"

Brothers playing

Alfie and Noah love to play together. Alfie can't take his eyes off his brother.

Thank goodness for Holland!

This is interesting. The Down Syndrome Society in the Nederlands has launched a new poster campaign. The caption reads "I can.... May I? - Down Syndrome is a chronic illness and we are looking for suitable treatment".







This strategy is to renew interest into research into Down syndrome and counteract the prevention of Down syndrome via termination of pregnancy.

The Nederlands Down Syndrome Society is very successful. In Holland a pregnant woman will be given counselling when she recieves a positive diagnosis for Ds and will have to take three weeks of counselling before she makes a decision about the continuation/termination of her pregnancy. The country's termination rate, (I believe - don't quote me) is around 50% rather than in the high 90%'s (for UK, Canada and USA).
Down Syndrome Awareness Day is a big deal in Holland too, with the Queen attending a special ceremony and loads of press coverage.

Hopefully our Down Syndrome Society will follow suit.

Ooh Ooh! I've won something!

The Possibles 2

Actually, I think it's really healing for me to work with the teenagers who have Ds in the photography club we've put together. Somehow meeting such individual and similar, fun and reserved, cautious and vivacious young people has helped reaffirm to me that Alfie will grow into an individual, an Alfie. He will be himself. And I don't have to worry about that too much. Everyone is so different, but if he's anything like these kids, I will be very proud.

We've got some more pictures up on The Possibles blog.

The Possibles 1

Our new club, The Possibles, is starting on Saturday so I've been running around with Renee (the other artist) getting everything organised.

One of the young people who is taking part came up with the name 'Teen Possibles' - I think it's great. Other members have rehearsed a hip hop dance, thought up a theme song, and even made a power point presentation! This is all before we actually start! We're all getting quite excited.

Please visit our Possibles blog to find out more.

Noah is a Hot Potato

Here is a slide show of Noah. He chose the music - it's called 'Hot Potato' by The Wiggles, (thought I'd put that in case you want to buy the album!).

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

The Developmental Report

RE: McCarthy, Alfie Peter
Unit Number: P0044hosp7
Date of Birth: 29/06/06
HCN: 02834948372
Location Code: Dev
Seen in Clinic: 25/07/07

Alfie and his mother were seen in the Developmental Clinic in followup today. Alfie is now 12 - 1/2 months old and was last seen in May 2007. As you know, he is a little boy with Trisomy 21 and congenital CMV infection. At the time of his original consultation in May, Alfie was unwell and we were unable to complete a developmental assessment.

But now we have done it and are sending this copy to his parents. It will be interesting for them to read this 12 page report about their son and useful for them to have a copy of the information that is used to assess his development. But in addition to this, it will feel a little bit demoralising. They will read through a description of their son that concentrates on all that is 'wrong' with him, from his head, to his toes. Alfie's mother will process this by re-writing the report so that it more accurately describes her son.

On examination of head and neck, Alfie was noted to have a large anterior fontanelle with a relatively flattened occiput. He has his mother's eyes and a little button nose. Examination of the extremities revealed short, broad hands, again like his mothers. There is a gap present between his first and second toes on both feet. On neurologic examination, no facial asymmetry was present and he is undoubtably an extremely handsome child.

All the achievements of which his mother and father are so proud will now be dismissed in short sentences that compare him to a large number of children who do not have Down syndrome, and for all we know, might have nothing special about them at all. On the gross motor subscale Alfie had an equivalent age of 7 to 8 months. On the Self-Help Subscale, Alfie had an age equivalent of 9 months. His cuteness factor was 140% and by parental report his happiness level is equivalent to that of a child who has been born into a loving home and adored, from the very start, by all who have ever met him. His mother and father are, quite rightly, extremely proud and contended to have produced such a unique and charming son. Together with Alfie's older brother Noah, they appear to be a perfect family.

Sincerely,
A Doctor, confined within the traditions of a medical model of diagnosis, who has to write these reports for her job, MD FRCPC

/EHM
c - my blog

Pops Reading System

Just a quickie - Alfie's Nan and Grandad have brought me an article about some really brilliant books, a reading system designed for children who have Down syndrome. I don't know if they're available in Canada or the US yet but maybe our local library can get a copy (I've got an in there as Mat's a librarian).
Alfie and Noah are doing great - Alfie can pull himself up to standing!!! Wow! (He's only done it over the side of the bath so far - a bit dangerous - I've got to watch him like a hawk now), And he's started waving. It's just too cute. I'll try and get him to do it on video so I can post it.

Alfie's First Year

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

I've written an article about prenatal testing

Giving accurate, unbiaised, information should be at the heart of prenatal testing
by Alice Evans

Twelve weeks into pregnancy most women will now be offered a scan to see how their baby is doing. A chance to actually see the little bundle of trouble that’s already keeping you up and night, sending you running to the bathroom every morning, and rushing your body with previously unknown levels of hormones. Most women look forward to this scan as an opportunity to reassure themselves that they aren’t imagining it, they really are pregnant, and everything is alright.

But, what happens if it isn’t? Finding out that there might be something ‘wrong’ with your baby is a dreadful, heart stopping, experience, and one that the majority of women are ill-prepared for. Some do not even realise exactly what their fetus is being tested for, and when they are told that there is a chance that their baby has a disability, it’s true to say that the bottom can drop out of their world.

To make matters worse, many medical practitioners do not have the counselling skills needed to help women through this fraught and confusing time. Many complicated decisions need to be made and questions answered - and not always questions that have straightforward answers...’Should I have a test that gives me a conclusive answer and risk miscarriage?’...’How could this ‘anomoly’ affect my babies health?’... ‘How could it affect my child’s life?’... ‘How would it affect my life?’.
With only medical staff to answer these questions - normally staff who have no actual experience of living with a child who has the condition, it is not surprising that 90% of potential parents who are given the diagnosis of Down syndrome choose the most direct and seemingly straightforward option of termination.

The social stigma that surrounds Down syndrome and other genetic conditions, combined with the minefield of the abortion debate, can make this a tricky area for doctors. They don’t want to force parents to have babies that might have health problems in the future, and feel the need to highlight the potential risks to protect themselves from legal retribution. But this medicalized approach can mean that potential parents are pressurized - sometimes overtly, into making the decision to terminate, and leaves other parents feeling guilty, foolish and alone for choosing to continue with a pregnancy. It also means that a realistic picture of life with a child who has Down syndrome is rarely given.

Michael and Felecia Outhouse, new parents who were given a positive result for fetal anomoly last year, found that the information they were given was woefully inadequate:
“ Upon receiving a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome I found that health care professionals volunteered little information about raising a child with Ds, yet took great efforts to inform us that termination was not something to feel guilty about. When asked to make this decision you are highly unstable and it is a time when you need the true facts. I shudder to think what my life might be like had we not undertaken our own research and had relied on the information given by the professionals. He is such a lovely, healthy baby and we love him so much! ”

My personal experience as a parent to a child who has Down syndrome, is that nothing could have prepared me for the joys, pride, and laughter of living with my son. I am grateful to the doctors who, when he was born, told me to focus on the possibilities rather than disabilities - their support was crucial at this extremely emotional time. Having seen the stress that many of my friends had been through when undergoing prenatal testing, my husband and I had decided that we would commit to our pregnancies regardless and would therefore forego the nuchal fold translucency tests offered to us. Other women, however, strongly feel the need to know. Action needs to be taken to ensure that this process is not needlessly stressful, and to support, counsel, and prepare potential parents, whether or not they receive a positive diagnosis.

In the UK and USA steps are being taken to ensure that the giving of a diagnosis of Down syndrome, or other genetic condition or ‘anomoly’, is carried out in a clear and value neutral way that supports choices, and does not direct parents to a specific outcome. Systems are being set up to ensure that doctors’ personal viewpoints do not overshadow the giving of a diagnosis. In order to provide parents with a real and informed choice, the same guidelines and legal requirements should be introduced in Canada.

The Nova Scotia Down Syndrome Society have set up a petition calling for a Prenatal and Postnatal Diagnosed Condition Awareness Act.
Such an Act could lead to training for medical staff including training in counselling skills, the use of neutral language, and awareness of negative personal prejudices. Guidelines could be created that are informed by medical practitioners, alongside parents who have chosen to continue a pregnancy, parents who have chosen termination, and adults who have the relevant genetic conditions.

If created, this Act could also lead to awareness campaigns about what pre-natal tests are for, what choices are available to women, and what life with Down syndrome and other genetic conditions means for children, adults and families - including information about the support and resources available. Research into the best ways of communicating complicated information could also be utilised. If women are given clear, unbiaised information, before they have diagnostic tests, and preferably even before they become pregnant, they will be more able to make informed choices that are not rushed or clouded by a fear of the unknown, or ill-informed prejudice.

To find out more about this Act, and to join the campaign to have it introduced in Canada, please visit :
www.gopetition.com/petitions/canada-needs-a-prenatal-diagnosed-condition-awareness-act.html
or visit www.novascotiadownsyndromesociety.com

Antenatal Results and Choices

My mum told me about this interesting program on the subject of antenatal screening on Woman's Hour on BBC Radio 4. They are introducing new guidance on the screening process in the UK and this program explores the issues in quite an interesting way - it's from a medical standpoint, not a specifically pro-Down syndrome standpoint, but I think it's interesting to see that way that the subject is handled by the mainstream media in Britain.

In the UK there is a charity set up to help people make decisions when they are given a pre-birth diagnosis of an 'abnormality': ARC - Antenatal Results and Choices. It's a non-judgemental system that helps people understand what their choices are, and links them to the support groups that can give them more information. That's in the best case scenario - I, personally, doubt that it's what usually happens.
On the program they are also talking about giving more information about these choices before people get pregnant - with case studies and information available on the internet and through the health service. This makes a lot of sense - trying to think about Down syndrome for the first time when you are being told that you are 'high risk' and you have loads of hormones floating about your system isn't the best time to take in complicated information.

Ps. Please excuse the photo - as this is such a dry post, I thought I'd choose a picture that would spice it up a bit - this is me the day before Alfie was born. ooooh.

Please sign this petition for a Canadian Bill

It seems very clear to me that there is an enormous difference between the image of Down syndrome that I see in the media and wider world, and my personal experience. I mean ENORMOUS! I'm sure I'm not alone, and it's not just parents looking on the bright side, or seeing no wrong in their beloved children. I really believe that there is so much ignorance about Down syndrome, and we, as parents, experience it all the time. And before we had our children we were probably the same - I couldn't imagine a baby with Down syndrome, just a man in his twenties with bad brown trousers on.

People are often surprised and shocked by Alfie - he's so sparky, responsive and engaged - and I'm sure it's because we are led to expect so little from people who have Ds. Alfie is by no means extraordinary - I think he's developing pretty typically for someone who has Ds and no major physical problems (apart from constant illnesses!), but nowadays we think of Down syndrome as such a terrible thing - the demon of pregnancies; the curse of the older woman - that it is surprising to us when it just isn't all that bad. We now understand so much more about how people with Down syndrome learn, how health and learning can be improved, and how an independent life can be achieved. Isn't it a paradox that at the same time fewer and fewer are given the chance? - due in large part to prejudice.

My theory is that the way that pre-natal testing is carried out is partly to blame. I was reading a newspaper article last week which included an interview with a woman who had chosen to terminate her pregancy because the baby had Down syndrome. She had just two days to make her decision and only had the input of medical doctors to guide her. The reason she gave was that having a child with Down syndrome would have put her and her family under "severe hardship". Severe hardship?? Some hardship I would say. I've got to know much more about hospitals than I would like, and we are poorer financially than we might otherwise be - but severe? That just isn't my experience.

What if the same woman had been given information from parents who had actually brought up children with Ds? What if she'd been given information from the Down syndrome society and been offered a realistic picture of how life can be with all the lows, and the highs? I wonder if she would have made the same decision?

As more and more people are told that - horror of horrors - they might have the chance of having a baby with Ds - and, however subtly, advised that the only fair thing to do for their families and unborn child, is to terminate, it could equate that more and more people will live with the belief that Ds is a very, very, terrible thing - that people with Ds must be horribly and severely disabled and not really deserving of a life.

I believe that this new bill that is being reintroduced in the States might be the key. If we introduced it in Canada, alongside the wider introduction of pre-natal testing, it would ensure that doctors had to provide more balanced information - by law! This would be a start. This wouldn't take away people's choices, but it could give them a real and informed choice.

The NSDSS has set up a petition to get this fantastic bill introduced in Canada. Please can you sign it and pass this address on to everyone you know - and pass it on to any Canadian bloggers too! Thank you so, so much.

Noelle's blog has lots more information about the bill, as she was responsible for getting it resurrected in the US.

Shifting Perspectives

Renée Forrestall, who is my fellow artist for our young person's arts project, has just sent me a link to this great photography exhibition in London. We could do a Canadian version. Any photographers out there want to get involved?

Come on CBC... get it right

Oh I really hate being bombarded with negative and ignorant stereotypes about Down syndrome all the time. Whether it's an insensitive news item, or a wrong click on youtube, I'm always finding that I have to protect myself from stupid bigots and fools who just don't think before they speak. I hate feeling the need to fire off letters of complaint all the time. It really does happen so often. Why do people think it's OK to say nasty things about people who have Ds? Why are people so ignorant? Oh it makes me so cross.
I tried to ignore this yesterday and just put it in my (very large) box marked "ignore them they just didn't think", but it didn't work and now I've woken up at 3am and found myself writing a complaint to CBC News Sunday. Blooming heck:

Dear CBC News Sunday
As a regular viewer of your show, I was extremely disappointed by your show on Sunday 22 July. In particular, the item about mood disorders featuring an interview with a well known singer/song writer. The points made about mood disorder were very informative and enlightening, however the comparison to Down syndrome was both inappropriate and offensive.
During the program the interviewee compared mood disorder to Down syndrome, explaining that mood disorder was worse because people who had a mood disorder were aware of what they were doing - "unlike someone who had Down syndrome". The footage then cut straight to a clip in which somebody who had a mood disorder talked of eating their own excrement.
Down syndrome is a disability which affects cognitive function and is not a mental illness. People who have Down syndrome are well aware that they have this disability, and many are able to contribute full lives as part of the communities in which they live - working, volunteering, making friends and getting married. Generally, people who have Down syndrome are very skilled socially, and unless they had a mood disorder, would not exhibit anti-social behaviour as described in your piece. To imply that someone with Ds would eat their own excrement - however unintentionally this implication was made - is offensive in the extreme.
Most people who have Down syndrome are unable to make complaints of this kind and it is therefore all the more important that people who work in the media, especially news reporters, are accurate about their portrayal.
I would like to make an official complaint about this matter. I would also invite you to create a positive item about Down syndrome - exploring the ways in which the lives of people who have Ds have changed during the past twenty years. This interview with Anya Souza would be a good place to start: http://www.intellectualdisability.info/values/downs_as.html
I look forward to hearing from you about this matter.

----

Here is their reply:
Subject: Your e-mail to CRTC - File nbr 354084 - CBC Sunday
Date: Tue, 07 Aug 2007 11:04:50 -0400

Dear Ms Evans,
Thank you for your email to the Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission regarding a story about mood disorders that aired on the program, CBC News: Sunday on July 22, 2007.
As you know, the CRTC has asked the CBC to respond to your concerns directly.
You wrote that you were offended by a comparison of mood disorders and Down syndrome made by singer Chantal Kreviazuk. Ms Kreviazuk was discussing a short film she wrote and starred in about mood disorders, called 'Pretty Broken.' I have reviewed your letter and the video tape of the interview. With respect, I believe Kreviazuk's intent in this comparison was different from your interpretation of it. First, it is important to note that Kreviazuk, in her attempt to explain her motivation for making this film, drew this comparison, not CBC. The interviews on CBC are not scripted, nor would we wish them to be; it is our responsibility to provide a platform for the expression of ideas, not to put words into the mouths of interview subjects. It is clear that you do not agree with Kreviazuk, but it is not a situation in which CBC was 'inaccurate' in this interview, as you have suggested.
In the interview, Kreviazuk explained that her inspiration for the film came from watching a close friend struggle with a mood disorder before committing suicide. When talking about this friend, she explained that he changed dramatically in the course of six months, to the point that he 'did not recognize himself', that he 'didn't know this guy'. She went on to explain that one of the most painful aspects of a mood disorder is the sufferer's awareness of how he or she has changed in personality. The despair stems from this self-awareness and the knowledge of an inability to resume their previous expected and accustomed mental state on their own. In describing this awareness of the change from an accustomed psychological state to an unwanted and unpredictable one, Kreviazuk said a mood disorder wasn't like Down syndrome, in that a mood disorder sufferer is cognizant of a dramatic change in their behaviour, which is often hurtful to friends and loved ones and which strips the sufferer of his dignity. Having watched the tape, we do not believe her intent was to suggest that people with Down syndrome are neither aware of their disability nor that they are unable to live independent and rich lives. Nor do we believe it was her intention to suggest that people with Down syndrome would engage in the types of anti-social behaviour that many people with mood disorders may act out. Rather, we believe her intention was to stress the sufferer's awareness of the "change" that occurs with a mood disorder.
Again, having reviewed the tape, it is apparent that Kreviazuk did not make her point terribly
clear, and her comparison may not have been as precise as another may have been, but again, this was how she chose at that time to express herself. We are sorry if you found it offensive. CBC welcomes all audience feedback about our programming; without it, we cannot remain
sensitive to the needs and wants of our viewers and listeners. All audience mail is summarized in a report that is circulated weekly among all senior executives, producers and programmers at CBC, including the President and CEO, Robert Rabinovitch.

Sincerely, Denis Andrychuk
Communications Officer
CBC Audience Relations

-----
and here is my response:

Dear Denis Andrychuk
Thank you for your response.
In a way, you have addressed the issues that I brought to your attention, but, I am still very unhappy about the comparison between Down syndrome and mood disorder - in particular:
" In describing this awareness of the change from an accustomed psychological state to an unwanted and unpredictable one, Kreviazuk said a mood disorder wasn't like Down syndrome, in that a mood disorder sufferer is cognizant of a dramatic change in their behaviour, which is often hurtful to friends and loved ones and which strips the sufferer of his dignity."
" Having watched the tape, we do not believe her intent was to suggest that people with Down syndrome are neither aware of their disability nor that they are unable to live independent and rich lives. Nor do we believe it was her intention to suggest that people with Down syndrome would engage in the types of anti-social behaviour that many people with mood disorders may act out"
However, I do think that she is implying that people with Down syndrome are unaware of the effect that their behaviour has on others and that they have no self-awareness. (Or, is she saying that they have no dignity to lose?)
People who have Down syndrome are PEOPLE and they are as individual as you and I.
The comparison made by Ms Kreviazuk is a personal opinion that is based on ignorance of Down syndrome, and prejudice. People who have Down syndrome are aware of their behaviour and are socially skilled. They are not oblivious to the affect that their moods or psychological states have on others. For CBC to provide a platform for these opinions is neglectful and supporting of an offensive stereotype.
In addition, although CBC is not responsible for what people in interviews say, you are responsible for the way in which they are edited. To directly follow such a statement, with an excerpt relating to a very extreme behaviour such as the eating of excrement, supports the previous stereotype.
If someone inadvertently made a racist statement during an interview I believe that you would edit the interview so that the racist statement was omitted and did not detract from the main point of the piece, or cause unnecessary offense to viewers. You would certainly not further inflame and offend by editing the interview so that it was even more incendiary. I ask that you apply the same standards to people who have cognitive disabilities.
I believe that this program negatively affected the human rights of people who have Down syndrome by providing a platform for a bigoted viewpoint and I do not believe that you have addressed this sufficiently in your response to me. I believe that you gave gravitas to an ignorant stereotype by broadcasting it without appropriate context. Further to this, I feel that the editing of the program by CBC further added to the negative stereotype that was suggested by the interviewee.

I look forward to hearing from you again.
Alice Evans

Noelle's given me an award!

Blogger Reflection Award: This award should make an individual reflect upon five bloggers who have been an encouragement, a source of love, impacted you in some way, and who have provided an example. In other words, five dear bloggers whom, when you reflect upon them, you are filled with a sense of pride and joy...of knowing them and being blessed by them.

I am really chuffed about this! Especially since Noelle has awarded it to me and her blog, Jaden's Journal, is just amazing. She is an extremely dynamic and positive woman who makes things happen. And not just little things. Not only has her blog made me feel excited about the future with my son (her little boy, Jaden, is just too cute for words!), it's also given me practical information on diet and supplements (based on her personal experience) and lessons in 'how not to take it lying down' - which as a new parent, who instinctively doesn't want to tread on any toes, I really appreciate.

About two months ago Noelle decided that the information given to parents-to-be when they were first told that their child had Down syndrome was unacceptable. It was biased and ignorant. And she didn't just moan about it, she made a practical plan to change the situation by law! She has set up a petition, encouraged other parents to share their stories, and now has persuaded U.S. Senators Sam Brownback (R-KS) and Edward Kennedy (D-MA) to reintroduce the Pre-natally and Post-natally Diagnosed Conditions Awareness Act: "legislation which would require that families who receive a diagnosis of Down syndrome or any other condition, pre-natally or up until a year after birth, will be given up-to-date information about the nature of the condition and connection with support services and networks that could offer assistance."
Wow! So, thank you Noelle, you have been an incredible inspiration to me and I'd like to award this straight back to you. Hmmm. I don't think that's allowed though.

The next person who has really inspired me hasn't even got a blog. When Renate Lindeman found that her daughter had Down syndrome, she also took practical action and single-handedly set up the Nova Scotia Down Syndrome Society! There are now over 100 members and I can't express enough how much this group has meant to me over the past year. Practical seminars, workshops for families, a resource library, friendship, and a voice. Renate is driven, dynamic and extremely intelligent. I am extremely grateful to know her and to have her speaking up for my son and other people who have Down syndrome in Canada.
Renate, if you had a blog, I'd pass this award on to you.

The third person who has inspired me is Anya Souza. She makes me hopeful for all the possibilities and amazing things that Alfie will achieve in his lifetime. And reminds me how important it is to be proud of our little one. You can find out more about her here.

I'm not doing very well at finding blogs here am I? One that I really enjoy is India Knight's blog 'Isn't she talking yet?'. As well as writing about her daughter, Nell, she brings together the stories of many different families, providing support and information for people whose children are affected by disability. But India's blog is a professional one, hosted by The Times online, so I don't think it's appropriate to pass this award on to her.

And lastly, in my rubbish list of non-blogs who I can't pass this award on to?

That would be Jodi at Reimer Reason. Her blog is extremely beautiful and I love to read about Sweet Husband and Kellen. She's been having a hard time recently but still thinks of others first. Thank you for sharing your experiences in such a poignant way Jodi.

Well, that's only one real nomination. That's quite pathetic! To be honest I can think of about six other blogs I'd love to put forward but they've already received this award. I'm obviously not a true and proper blogger but I blame cbeebies - and illegal movie downloads. If it wasn't for those pesky time-suckers I'd be able to get on the computer more than once a fortnight and I'd have loads and loads of remarkable and inspirational blogs to share with you. Really I would.

I've been tagged!

I've been tagged by Jodi at Reimer Reason to share eight random things about me.

1. I met Matthew in on a blind date. A friend set up forty people on blind dates as part of an art project. I had to meet Matthew in a Japanese supermarket in Soho, London. I was instructed to hold a lemon. We were the only couple out of the forty who hit it off.

2. When I was a kid my mum was keen to give my sister and I as many experiences and opportunities as possible. We spent our holidays at religious communes and Greenham Common (an anti-nuclear woman-only peace camp), and went to Buddhist, Hindu, Quaker, Christian Scientist, Catholic, Anglican, Plymouth Brethren, Synagogue and Islamic religious services. My favourite times were singing Simon and Garfunkel with the women and military police at Greenham Common, and going to Hindhu festivals (best sweets and comics!).

3. Matthew insisted that Noah's middle name should be "Harpo" after his favourite Marx brother. I love it now. Noah does too. He called me "Mummy John Harpo" the other day.

4. The strangest day of my life was Princess Diana's funeral. I was in the procession that followed her coffin through the streets of London (she was patron of the gallery I worked at). I will never forget the silence, followed by the wailing, on such a hot and dusty day. So many people. Battenburg cake and police escorts. People asking for our autographs. All the cameras. Princes. Being filmed at a funeral. Very, very strange.

5. My dad died when he was just 33 of a rare heart/lung disease. His illness led to us leaving Canada when I was four years old to live in England. It feels right to be raising my family back in the city that he first emigrated to in the 1960's.

6. Two years ago, Matthew and I won first prize at the Lambeth Country Fair (which is in inner city London - imagine lots of local youth trying to get Shire horses stoned), in the Fruit and Vegetable animal category, for our Olympic Monkeys:



7. I know lots of stories about my ancestors. My great, great, great, great grandfather was an eminent physician, instrumental in the development of codeine. He caught syphilis and had to move from Edinburgh, Scotland, to London, England, to avoid a scandal. In Canada, my great, great grandmother was made an 'Honorary Indian' by Chief Carry a Kettle when she was eight years old and was allowed to witness a young man's coming of age ceremony.

8. I am extremely proud of my gorgeous, sparky family. Here is a photo of Matthew and my sisters, Kate and Mipsie, in my Grandparent's garden on our wedding day.



I tag: Emily Elizabeth at Lovely and Amazing; Michelle at Big Blueberry Eyes; Jo at Sheena Time; and Noelle at Jaden's Journal.

Article for Nursing Mums

I was asked to write this article for the Nursing Mum's group on MSN:

Nursing my baby with Down syndrome

When you have children you open your life to the unknown, the unexpected and the uncontrollable. This was brought home to me with a bang during the first weeks of my son Alfie's life. After months of worrying about how my older son would cope with a new sibling, his birth brought a realm of much more urgent worries to the fore. How long would he be in intensive care? Why wasn't his bone marrow working? Why did he have bruises all over him? When would he be able to breath on his own? Why was he so floppy? What is a bone marrow for that matter?! After much testing it was determined that he had been exposed to CMV when I was pregnant, he had prenatal jaundice, and Down syndrome. Right. Hard swallow. That's OK. I think.

Breastfeeding was the one thing that I could do. Well, not straight away because Alfie was in the ICU wired up like a christmas tree and I'd just had a c-section, but thanks to two marvellous midwives I was soon on my way. One student midwife, bless her, sat with me with a little syringe and pulled off dew drops of colustrum while I hand expressed during the first night (or was it the second - it's all a blur now). And Lizzie, the independent midwife that we'd hired (in the hope that we'd have a home birth), was incredible. She very gently forced me to express milk with a machine every two hours and eat regularly. Because it'd only been 9 months since I'd stopped nursing my older son, the milk was soon coming in. I was so proud of myself!

It's a bit difficult to get ownership of your child when you can't hold them and other people are helping them to live. But I was determined to breastfeed and to be a mother to my baby as soon as I could. After five days of tube feeding I was allowed to nurse him myself. Alfie's low muscle tone meant that he couldn't hold his head up and found it difficult to latch on but I started by getting him to suck on my milky finger and then gradually managed to replace it with my nipple. All the breastfeeding training I'd had with Noah was invaluable - "tummy to mummy", "nose to nipple", "express milk into his mouth to get him started". I also had to ensure that he was fully supported at all times and didn't come unplugged from all the monitors or get suffocated by my breast (with his low muscle tone he wasn't able to pull himself away so easily). We fumbled about a bit, but after a day or two of trying he'd learned what to do and was able to come of the IV.

Feeding Alfie made everything feel alright. Whatever the medical diagnosis he was my baby and he responded to me and loved to eat! We were just mummy and baby and the rest of everything could just get lost.

During the first few weeks at home I fed Alfie every two hours - and he fed for much longer than my other son had - an average feed was about 40 minutes. With Noah I'd fallen asleep during feeds and co-slept but that wasn't an option with Alfie - he had to be held horizontally, high up across my chest, with his head fully supported - which meant me sitting upright and being quite awake. It was inconvenient but I was so delighted to have him home, and to hold him in my arms, I really didn't mind.

CMV is a virus that can lead to deafness, blindness, brain damage and bone marrow problems. I am certain that breastfeeding helped Alfie to recover from this illness in a remarkably short time. The doctors had to retest him twice because they couldn't believe that his viral load had diminished to 1% in just three weeks.
Having Down syndrome means that Alfie's immune system doesn't work as well as it should. During the first year of his life has been in hospital twice more with a virus and pnuemonia. Both times his abilty to nurse has kept him out of the intensive care unit, calmed him and helped him to recover more quickly.

Other mothers I know have expressed and bottle fed their babies breast milk if they were in hospital for lengthy periods. If your baby has medical complications you need them to have the very best nutrition available. Some mums have found that it's taken weeks to get nursing started, but perserverance and a belief that it really is possible to breastfeed their child have meant that they've won through in the end.

Nursing has also helped Alfie to develop muscles in his mouth that will help him learn to speak, it will add a couple of points on to his IQ - for which I'm sure he'll be grateful - and most importantly, it's helped him to grow into a good sized, gorgeous, jumping and squealing one year old boy. He's still nursing well and I plan to continue for as long as possible - one of the benefits of Ds is that your teeth can come through a lot later so I've not had to worry about getting nipped!

The first few weeks of nursing Alfie showed me just what he was capable of, and taught me to have the highest possible expectations of, and for, my son. It also helped me to just be his mum, and to know that I was doing something that was good for him when otherwise I felt so helpless.

The Laleche league have really good information about feeding your baby if s/he has Down Syndrome: http://www.llli.org/FAQ/down.html
as has this Australian site: http://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/down.html
http://breastfeed.com/resources/articles/benefits.htm

I liked this article too:
http://babiestoday.com/articles/98.php?wcat=26

Alfie has started to crawl forwards!!!!

Three days ago Alfie couldn't go forwards at all and now he can get right across the room. Because he has low muscle tone he isn't able to lift his tummy off the ground so, ingeniously, he has devised his own pull and shove method.

Four generations

Here's Alfie playing with his Great Grannie and Grandpa who were born in 1912 and 1910. When he got bored they poked him with their sticks!