I met some gorgeous children on Monday. Two kids who have Down syndrome who go to Alfie's playgroup at the Progress Centre. I was planning to leave the kids with Mat and go shopping but these cuties were so gorgeous, with their big eyes and smiles, that I had to stay. Also it was really nice to meet their mums.
Anyway, we got to chatting and one of the subjects that came up was 'denial'. How it is difficult when your baby is born to take on all the information that's given to you. And some subjects are just too much. One of the mum's said she couldn't look at the Down Syndrome Society website, or join it, it was just too much to take on board. I found the same thing with anything medical. At first I threw away all the literature I was given in the hospital about health issues. Often I find myself saying 'la la la' in my head when the doctor's telling me things. I'm finding my own way through now and I've read up on things one at a time, but I was just browsing the web when I came across the Down Syndrome Research Foundation. It looks really interesting but my 'denial' sensor has come up. I've decided to ignore the site and write this post instead. Now I might watch the Trailer Park Boys. Is it 'denial' or is it 'organisation of complex issues into a format which is compatible with my emotional well being'?
Here's a picture of Noah when he was one, eating a melon.
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I understand just how you feel! There is no doubt that we all go through this in our own ways! I remember when they told us 2 days after Jaden was born that they "suspected" he had Down Syndrome and told us the few reasons why. I said, "No he doesn't have low set ears, No he doesn't have Slightly lower tone, He got a 9-9 on the APGAR score when he was born, he's so healthy, he's nursing, nothing's wrong, you are complete idiots!" Well I didn't say the Idiot part, but I thought it! Then I quickly went to look at my baby in the nursery. I knew all those "Characteristics" they were talking about, but they didn't apply to my baby! He was perfect! He didn't have that One Crease in the palms! Anyway, because the Medical Establishment RARELY sees babies with DS anymore, They themselves only have Text Book references from medical School to rely on, which are very often innacurate, so they freak out, and then the parents freak out and chaos enstrues! Long Explanation, but trust me, the last thing I would have wanted from the Doctors or Nurses, was Literature or websites to go to where I see everything I'm supposidly afraid of at the time! Every parent needs to digest information in their own way, in their own time, then slowly they allow help and information to filter in. :) Now, when I look at babies with DS, I think, "Oh my Gosh, HOw beautiful, I don't See it!" I've become blind to the differences now, something I never thought I would be able to say, I only see the Beauty in the babies. I realize too, that when the world meets Jaden, that's how they see him also, as a Beautiful Rambunctious 2 year old Boy!
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